i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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