also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
