dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
