when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
