Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
