I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
