I need help removing her.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
