just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
