ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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