I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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