And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have aggressive nipples.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
