I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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