Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
