i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
