somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
