was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
