I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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