this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize