It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
