I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
