sorry about calling you the devil all night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
