Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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