if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
