i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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