Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
