I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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