It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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