im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
