I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
