He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize