Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just found puke in my bra..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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