Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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