Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
