I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
