I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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