How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
