Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
