Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
