I accidentally had phone sex last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
