wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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