I puked a lego.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
