weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
