Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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