On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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