Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
