Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize