I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
