you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
