jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
