Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
