How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
