He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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