i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
