He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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