Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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