i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize