home. puking in laundry basket.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize