My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
