'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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