can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
