Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
