Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
