Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
